Discover the heart and soul of Cologne in Tom’s ‘crazy taxi’

By Katja Heins

Tom, the taxi-driver, is a bit of an oddball, an entertaining story-teller, and the thing about him is: this German chauffeur never drives you to the destination you give.

At the wheel of what has become known as the “crazy taxi” – an elegant black former London taxicab, that old-fashioned sort with a long hood and large headlights — he careers around the German city of Cologne following his own plan every Friday night.

Tom Wolff welcomes his fares with a cheery, “How about a glass of juice?” And then he’s off in the cab, a 14-year-old vehicle that has been christened “Mortimer.”

On a recent Friday evening, six people boarded the black cab near Cologne Cathedral to see where they would end up.

If you agree with the philosophical observation that the road is the true destination, then you just might enjoy a ride with Tom, who warns — forget where you wish to go. In return, you will learn a great deal about the city of Cologne as Tom knows it.

“If you want me to stop, then shout out,” he says. The six passengers nod.

The soft London seats remind one of a sofa from grandmother’s parlour. On the velvet-lined interior wall there hangs a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II. At precisely 8pm and with England’s national anthem playing, the black cab car starts out.

Tom is a physical education teacher by training. But instead of taking up teaching, he drove a taxi for 25 years.

“To me, it was always interesting to see what kind of situation in life the people who climbed into my car were in,” he said. Now, his chief occupation is as a photographer. But starting in the fall of 2013, he began his Friday evening “crazy taxi” tours.

The 51-year-old regards himself as less of a city tour guide than as a “seducer” who will make you fall in love with Cologne.

He avoids taking on package tour assignments that require him to take passengers to specific commercial spots. And, he avoids regular tourists.

“What I want to do is to bring people together and show them the heart and soul of Cologne,” he says. There is no running meter in his car. He simply charges a flat 15 euros (19 dollars) per person for the evening of riding around town to visit its secret attractions.

One might wonder how thrilled the other taxi drivers are about Mortimer, but they have taken the “crazy taxi” in their stride.

“He’s not taking any fares away from us,” says a taxi driver named Achim. And Georg, a colleague at a taxi stand near by, adds: “The black cab is the only one in all of Cologne. We actually are happy when we see that car.”

Tom likes driving Mortimer very slowly. It gets him more attention, he notes. When he drives past a taxi stand, to the fanfare of the English national anthem, his taxi-driving colleagues wave to him.

It’s now 1am Saturday morning. The passengers, who previously did not know one another, have by now gotten on familiar terms and are overwhelmed by all their new impressions. In the crissing and

crossing back and forth, they keep losing their orientation in their own home town, which for the chauffeur is the greatest compliment.

“When I hear people saying in a surprised tone, ‘I have never been here before,’ or ‘I would never have come here by myself,’ then I know things are going well,” Tom says.

Maike, Conny, Klara, Katja, Chara and Jan discovered a colourful, 1950s-style hair-dressing salon that this evening was holding a Waikiki Beach type of party: customers wearing a Hawaiian shirt

receive a discount.

Later, the cab made a stop so that the six could enjoy seeing a sunset over the Rhine River while a string quartet played Antonio Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” concerto.

During a stop at a small theatre, the group saw a bit of a stand-up comedy routine.

With the group finally got a bit hungry and thirsty, Tom parked his cab in front of a small kiosk that enjoys cult status in Cologne. There, until the wee hours, people can grab a sandwich, a tube of mustard, or if one needs it, of toothpaste.

“At the moment I don’t have any time for a vacation,” says Maike, an economist. “Now I have learned about my home town from a different perspective,” she adds. “Perhaps one should let go more often and do something completely different.”

Thomas Graeth, chief of the German Taxi and Car Rental Association, which is based in Frankfurt and counts about 65 per cent of the country’s taxi companies as members, thinks a crazy taxi here or there does no harm.

“The guy had a good idea. Why shouldn’t he try to set himself apart from his colleagues?” he says. “He’s providing a good image for our industry.”

Graeth says there are a handful of drivers around Germany offering fun rides, but none other offers a tour of a city’s secrets like Tom does. -DPA