Over the last couple of years, I have become really good at mastering the art of letting go. I used to want to cling on to certainty, in the same way you try and cling on to a slippery bar of soap when you are in the bathtub.
I am a bit of a control freak and I always want to have it planned out and then play out the way it is in my head, when things didn’t always go according to my plan I would become upset and frustrated. I have learnt the hard way that the old Woody Allen cliché. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans turned out to be true.
Of course, it’s not always a pleasant experience when things don’t go according to plan. Change can be messy and there is definitely uneasiness about it. We think our certainties will protect us from having to deal with beautiful chaos that comes with things not going the way we want them to and that’s why we hold on to them with dear life.
I have been certain about a few things in the past. Once I thought; this is the way I am going to feel about this situation forever, then there was that time I thought I finally found my best friend, oh yeah and that last job, thought I would be there till retirement. Have you ever been that sure? And then, suddenly, in the flash of a second, not so sure. Just like that slippery bar of soap in the bath tub.
My yoga practice supports me to have less attachment to things and people. I’m now ok with movement, people and things, coming and going. The teachings of yoga have taught me to cultivate the ability to be disciplined and determined without focusing on the outcomes too much. The outcome is not the point, it’s the state of mind in which I was in while doing the work that has the value and which is more important, which a healthy perspective to have.
I try very hard not to make grand firm conclusions in my head or out loud. These days I am fine with being half certain about things. I know that I don’t always have to have a plan; I can just breathe, let go and know that God is walking beside me on the journey I have chosen.
*The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa, Website: missshefa.com
Shefa Ali
