I’m writing this column at my dining table, wearing my PJs. Besides my husband and two close friends, I haven’t spent time physically with anyone for over a month now. I speak and connect with my family and friends over video chat; I stay abreast of acquaintances lives thanks to their many regular updates on social media. I go out once a week to the supermarket.
I know, it’s pretty similar for you and so this has led many of us to wonder about normality: when will things ‘return to normal,’ and what will a ‘new normal’ look like? What does ‘normal’ really mean, anyway?
The word ‘normal’ appears straightforward enough. But like many of our words, as soon as we begin thinking about it, it starts to slip through our fingers, like a slippery bar of soap in the bathtub. The definition of ‘normal’ might be hard to define, but its function is pretty clear: normal is safe. Normal is familiar. Normal is comfortable. The new normal, in other words, changes what was wrong but keeps what was right with the old normal. But if the old normal was wrong, then why did we call it normal? Similarly, if the new normal is different from the old one, how can we pretend we’re still dealing with ‘normal’?
So we kind of want to go back to where we were, but we also kind of don’t. We want things to be the same, but we also want them to be different. We want to return to normal but we know deep down that our journey won’t be a return so much as a departure.
The question, then, is why would we use the word ‘normal’ at all?
How can you go in and come out the same? When this is over how can we be the same people that went in? By being inside, something has happened inside of us that won’t allow us to go back to being ‘normal’. I hope for all of us there have been changes, shifts and transformations, re-thinking, -re-evaluating. It’s tempting to wonder when things will return to normal, but the fact is that they won’t – not the old normal anyway. But we can achieve a new kind of normality, even if this new world is so different in fundamental ways.
*The author is a consultant and coach. Instagram handle: @miss_shefa, Website: missshefa.com
Shefa Ali