By Hala Bader al-Humaidhi

Some believe that there is a slight difference between self-love and selfishness, but the real thing, according to psychology, is that the difference is huge. Each person must love himself, know his features and shortcomings well and appreciate his potential that makes him a distinctive person.
A person who cannot love himself cannot love anyone, and lack of self-love and belittling of his potential is a major psychological problem, thus the person must undergo psychological treatment, and also excessive self-love, alternatively the belief that he is the most important of all is also a psychological problem, and he may be ignorant. Some believe that selfishness is not only a blameworthy trait, but rather a psychological problem that may harm its owner and those close to him.
Let’s first define self-love:
Loving oneself and respecting his capabilities is an innate matter that Allah the Almighty has placed within all human beings, and it is to make the individual feel and appreciate his inner potential, and makes one always try to improve himself so that he becomes the best among his peers, but without belittling others or transcending those who are less than him. According to scientific theories, self-love is one of the basic foundations for a psychologically healthy person.
Also, if a person is not able to love himself, he may not be able to love others. Therefore, psychology classifies the person who loves himself with some characteristics such as:
1. The ability to innovate and excel.
2. Be a social person who loves others.
3. The ability to develop a sense of self-confidence.
4. The ability to solve crises and problems well.


Now let’s look at what selfishness is:
Selfishness or ego love is classified as a pathological condition that makes one think that the world rotates arounds him only, and looks at life from the perspective of his own utility. Also a selfish person judgments about all the actions he performs that they are correct, and also deals with his needs as it is always the priority, as neglects the needs of those around him, even if they are close people to him, and the owners of this trait do not recognise the success of anyone other than them, and they always find justifications for their bad actions.
The main traits of selfish people are:
1. Arrogant.
2. Talking about themselves in a self-reinforcing manner.
3. Their inability to recognise the accomplishments of others.
4. They reject all forms of criticism and this causes them to become angry.
5. Exploiting others’ sympathy.
6. Continuous pursuit of self-interest.
7. Love of possession and insane jealousy.
8. Climbing onto the shoulders and backs of others.
Now that you know the difference, ask yourself ‘Do you love yourself or are you selfish?’


* The author is a consultant in Public Relations and Personality Types. Instagram: @Tipsbyhalahill