Do you get angry easily? Are you quick to respond in the heat of the moment and regret it later on? Do you have road rage? These are all signs that you may have to coach yourself into a healthier version of yourself by controlling your quick temper and handling things in a better way that is more beneficial to your mind and body’s health.
Anger is a healthy emotion and yes anger is normal, but the trick is to deal with your anger in a more positive manner. Anger can sky rocket your blood pressure, can tire your body and can even cause more wrinkles and none of us want any of that! If you don’t get your anger under control you may be risking your general health, your work, your relationships and even your life. Here are a few things you can try to help minimise your anger and your immediate response to it:
Take a minute and think about what you’re feeling and if it’s really worth getting heated over. It’s extremely easy to say the wrong things in the heat of the moment and you probably usually regret it later on. Do not be quick to speak or to act, take a step back and allow yourself a minute or two to cool down. I know this is easier said than done but from personal experience, I recently realised that I am very quick to speak my mind and almost always feel bad about it a few hours later. I realised that some people really do not understand what they are saying and doing and just need me to explain to them how what they do makes me feel and how they can prevent making me get to this boiling point in the future. I finally realised that it was a better idea to cool off and explain my mind so that I work on the issue and prevent it from happening again instead of acting right away and the issue continuously coming up. Also, keep in mind the standard breathing techniques that can help you cool off and do not underestimate the power of calming yourself down with phrases such as, “it’s okay, just calm down,” or “take it easy, it’s all going to be fine.”
Do not be quick to explain yourself too soon, make sure you cool down and that the other party or parties have cooled down too (even if they don’t seem to be angry too). Then, explain yourself, state your concerns and make sure you are clear and direct. Be wary of being confrontational, assertive and belittling. There is no need to re-ignite the frustration for all. A final tip is to stick with ‘I’ statements rather than “you” statements. Be clear when you explain how you feel instead of attacking someone and calling them out on things.
If you feel your anger is increasing instead of cooling down, physical activity could do the trick. Getting active can help reduce that stress your feeling by getting those happy hormones going such as endorphins, serotonin and dopamine. This is scientifically proven and is definitely worth a try. Not only does activity help boost the happy hormone levels, it also increases your chances of focusing on you, your health and potentially enjoying the naturally calming effects of nature if you choose to be outdoors.
Taking a break and letting yourself self-discover is also another option. Sometimes you need to take a timeout and get away from the triggers to be with your own thoughts and to think of possible solutions and reactions to those triggers and how they made you feel. Always remind yourself that anger will not fix the problem, it will only make it worse. You can even refocus your energy into something else. For example, I always go for organising and cleaning when I feel anger because I know that if I dwell on my anger for too long it will really affect me negatively. Try to find activities you can really get into and let all those negative vibes go.
*The author is a wellness advocate and influencer @keys2balance.
Reem Abdulrahman Jassim al-Muftah
